9 Years: A Growing Sense of Independence

Your child is growing independent from your family and is clearly developing friendships—even lasting friendships—on their own as they approach adolescence. It’s important for your child to develop a sense of responsibility and strong self-esteem as peer pressure becomes more prevalent.

At This Stage, Your Child May Be

• Using problem-solving, negotiating and compromising skills with their peers
• Developing competence in competitive games and team sports
• Becoming sensitive to what others think of them and to adult approval
• Demonstrating the ability to follow and carry out detailed directions because of their increased attention span
• Handling complex tasks and making step-by-step plans to carry them out
• Asking many questions to develop their own point of view
• Developing their own games with complicated rules
• Working independently on short research projects using material from books and the Internet
• Adding, subtracting and multiplying fractions in simple cases (such as 3¾ – 2¼)
• Becoming more interested in helping make decisions that affect the family
• Making important strides in their ability to explain plainly and in detail what a book says
• Becoming more socially conscious and interested in bettering the world and helping others

Help Your Child Make Healthy Choices

It’s never too late to get your child on the path to a healthy lifestyle. Here are some suggestions to develop healthy habits:

• Don’t allow a TV in your child’s bedroom. Limit screen time, including computers and video games, to no more than one to two hours a day. That will lead to more time outdoors and active play.
• Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables and limit high-fat foods, added sugars and salt. 
• Children may not ask for healthy snacks like baby carrots or whole-grain, low-salt crackers, but if you offer them or provide them at times when your child is likely to be hungry, there’s a good chance they will eat them.
• Encourage your child to participate in an hour of enjoyable, age-appropriate physical activity per day.
• Make sure your child is completing three types of physical activity three times a week: aerobic activity such as running; muscle strengthening such as climbing; and bone strengthening such as jumping rope.

Things You Can Do Every Day to Help Your Child Develop

At home, you can play an important role in setting expectations and helping your child meet them. Here are some activities and suggestions to help your child maintain a strong and steady development:

• Try to create a quiet place for your child to study, and carve out a time every day when your child can concentrate on studies without distractions.
• Talk with them about the news. Pick one story in the news, read it together and discuss with them what it means.
• Be a good role model by reading books and magazines in front of your child.
• Ask them to compare numbers using phrases such as “times as much.” Example: If the family cat weighs 7 pounds and the family dog weighs 42 pounds, then the dog weighs how many times as much as the cat?
• Talk to your child about what to do when others are disrespectful or unkind.
• Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do activities as a family.
• Support your child’s interest in the world by providing opportunities for activities such as building things, visiting the zoo or planting a garden.
• Help your child develop their sense of right or wrong. Caution them about risky things that friends might try to coax them to do. 

School Success

To see what to expect in fourth grade and to learn how you can support your child’s school success, visit PTA.org.