The first year of teenage-hood is over, and your 14-year-old may experience fewer mood swings. But you’ll find that your child has a new set of priorities: getting more privileges and freedom from you and being accepted by their peers as part of a group. In fact, this pack mentality and a strong desire to “fit in” can define this year for them.
At This Stage, Your Child May Be
- Continuing to be highly self-conscious and concerned about what others think; “Am I normal?” … “Can I succeed at something?” are a couple of questions they might be asking themselves
- Becoming more “me”-oriented and exhibiting a sense that everything revolves around them
- Showing anxiety because of increased social and academic pressure
- Asserting a need for more privacy
- Forming, but still struggling with at times, a sense of their individual identity
- Starting to think abstractly and about complex issues, and testing different ideas and beliefs about politics, religion and other topics
- Showing more willingness to challenge rules and values
Keep Your Child Healthy
- Remind them to always wear a seat belt.
- Remind them to wear a helmet when riding a bike or skateboard, using in-line skates or playing contact sports.
- Talk with them about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking and risky sexual activity.
- Set clear rules for your teen when they are home alone (guidelines for when friends are over, what to do in emergencies, etc.).
- Make sure they get enough sleep. Most teens don’t. The National Sleep Foundation says teens typically need a little more than nine hours a night, though 8½ is enough for some.
- Establish networks with the parents of your child’s friends so that you’ll have support in making sure your teen is avoiding unhealthy situations or choices.
Help Your Child Grow
Pick your battles. If you get into an argument, don’t match your child’s intensity. Settling for a situation that’s less than perfect may be best on an issue that’s not of the greatest importance to you.
Make the right connections. Individuality is important to your 14-year-old, yet they may desperately want to be liked by certain groups. You can assist them by getting them more involved with clubs, sports, community groups or church youth groups, where they can explore their interests and hobbies with like-minded teens.
Encourage self-confidence. Your teen will be all about trying new things and carving out their sense of identity by discovering what their “thing” is. Figure out which “fun” activity is the highest priority for your child, and then help them come up with a schedule so they can balance that activity with homework and other responsibilities (such as chores). This will help them build time management skills.
Be available and let them know you’re there for them. Remind them that they can always call you when they’re in trouble, without fear of a lecture or being made to feel guilty.
Talk about peer pressure. Explain that it comes when other people urge you to do something you’re hesitant to do, and that the desire to give in is normal because everyone wants to be liked. But tell them that when people want you to do something that’s wrong, hurtful or illegal, you need to ask yourself, “Are they really my friends?” Tell them to think about consequences—for example, if people are doing drugs at a party, what will happen if the neighbors call police? Also, talk to them about the consequences of going against the wishes of a group, about their fears of being rejected, and about coping if those fears came true. Discuss with them that situations like that can change for the better, and that it’s OK to stand alone for a good cause.
School Success
To see what to expect from high school English language arts and to learn how you can support your child’s school success, visit PTA.org.
To see what to expect from high school math and to learn how you can support your child’s school success, visit PTA.org.
Entering the Workforce
In Tennessee, a minor must be 14 years of age before they can work. However, there are limits to the amount of time your teen may spend on the job while under the age of 16. Some of the restrictions for 14- and 15-year-olds are:
When School Is in Session:
- Can work no more than three hours per day
- Can work no more than 18 hours a week
- Can work no later than 7 p.m.
When School Is Not in Session:
- Can work no more than eight hours a day
- Can work no more than 40 hours per week
- Can work no later than 9 p.m.
The state of Tennessee does not require work permits. Your teen will need to provide their prospective employer with a copy of one of the following documents as proof of age: birth certificate, driver’s license, state-issued ID or a copy of their passport.
Talk to Your Teen About Higher Education
Begin a conversation with your teen about their future, and how higher education can help them achieve their goals. A college education is within reach for all Tennessee teens, thanks to Tennessee Promise, a program that Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam launched and then signed into law to give high school graduates in the state the opportunity to attend a two-year community or technical college free of tuition and fees.
Tennessee Promise is both a scholarship and mentoring program, and will go into effect beginning with the high school graduating class of 2015. Learn more about Tennessee Promise and how to apply here.
Get on Track With College Savings
If you haven’t started already, it’s not too late to begin setting aside some money for your child’s future college or university education. Tennessee makes it easy with the TNStars College Savings 529 Program (www.tnstars.com).
A 529 plan is a savings account that’s specially designed to help you save for college costs. Similar to a 401(k) retirement savings plan, a 529 plan enables you to deposit money into an account. You name a child or grandchild as a beneficiary. Unlike regular savings accounts, you don’t have to pay any federal taxes on the interest, and you will be able to withdraw the money later tax-free as long as it’s used to pay for the beneficiary’s college expenses. It doesn’t matter whether your child goes to college in Tennessee or in another state, and you don’t have to be a Tennessee resident to open the account.
You and any of your relatives can contribute to your child’s education fund—at low cost—through various investment options. Plus, there are special tax advantages under the program. The program has advisers available to walk you through the process and explain how your money will be invested and how it can grow by the time your child is ready to choose a school. Call toll free at 855-3TN-STAR (855-386-7827), or send an email to tn.stars@tn.gov.